A'Dell Stevens

1. Is there a place on the internet to read good news? I am so tired of checking the three or four newsy websites I can barely tolerate and seeing nothing but Horror! and Outrage! and Terrible Things! I’m not even clicking through, just the headlines are enough to make me recoil and go somewhere safe like TechCrunch where news is of the “Guess who got some money?!” or “Guess who has a great idea!?” variety, which is so much more interesting and not-depressing to read. It would be nice to read some good news for a change.

2.  My throat hurts. My new fear is that I will get sick and I will have to deliver a baby while sick. And then I will have to recover from labor and delivery while sick. And then I will have to bring home a newborn while sick and stay up all night taking care of him while I’m sick, which will be miserable for everyone and entirely unavoidable and totally necessary. And then of course, I will be worried about THE BABY getting sick. Yep. That would be awful.

3. I feel obligated to comment on being 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Huh. Well. Not really much to say. I’m not feeling labor-y and I’m pretty sure I’ll go several more days, perhaps even more than a week before he gets here, which would be good as it might give me time to get over being sick, if in fact I am even getting sick. I’m slow and I get tired easily but that’s been my story for a while, so it’s not really new. I am ready for him to be here, ready to not be pregnant any more, ready to move forward into this next part of my life that I feel like I’ve been on the edge of for a while. And then? I AM READY TO NEVER BE PREGNANT AGAIN YAAAAY!

4. Charlotte is like, the best sleeper ever you guys. Yesterday she woke up at 9 am, took a three-hour nap at 11, another one-hour nap at about 3, and was in bed for the night at 645. That’s 13/14 hours overnight and two naps, totaling FOUR HOURS, for a 20-month-old. And the thing is, she’s always been this way. There’s definitely some padding on those hours, as she is perfectly happy to wake up and entertain herself in her crib for 45 minutes or an hour before she starts talking, but still. STILL. That’s a long time. I am only writing about it now so I can dreamily reflect on how awesome it was, once I have a not-sleeping newborn in the house again.

5. The other day I was at Walmart and I only had Claire with me, but Claire was doing that horrible thing where she was asking for every third item on the shelf and not paying attention to where she was walking and it was really running my patience thin. I was also feeling really pregnant and slow and I did not want to be at Walmart in the first place, but we had eaten all the food so it was a necessity.

So we’re standing in line to check out and there are two people in front of me and we’re just waiting our turn, as you do. I am having the fight with Claire about the check-out impulse purchases (Can I have this? This? I REALLY WANT THIS!) and hissing at her to STOP STOP STOP OMG STOP JUST CHILL OUT and it’s generally…awful. I was very obviously struggling.

Then this lady behind me, just as I’m about to start finally loading my groceries onto the conveyor belt, says in a very obvious, very entitled, very smug tone,

“Um. Excuse me. I only have this ONE ITEM. Can I go ahead of you?”

So here I am, 39 weeks pregnant, hissing at my oldest child, cart full of groceries, patiently waiting my turn like everyone else, and I just looked at her, incredulous and speechless for a moment and I said,

“Um, NO….That is what self check out is for.”

I turned my back and started loading my groceries. (There were at least 4 self-check out lanes WIDE OPEN.) She looked at me, kind of surprised, and then snootily said, “Oh, well, thanks anyway.” She continued to just stand behind me, ignoring my (also snooty) recommendation that she self check out. And oh, I was FUMING at this woman. It wasn’t even her actual request that got to me, it was the way she asked it, as if she DESERVED to go first. If she had perhaps said, “I’m in such a hurry and I would SO appreciate it if…” or if she’d been polite about it at all, I probably would have let her go first. But no! She was so rude and eye-rolly about it as if I was the problem person with my more-than-one-item cart of groceries!

For about a fraction of a second I felt badly, as if I had been presented with a cosmic opportunity to Be Kind! and I realized that NO. I don’t have to Be Kind! I don’t! I don’t want to and I’m not going to. I’m not a Be Kind! person to people who are presumptuous and I don’t care.

6. I have eaten four boxes of Golden Grahams in the past ten days. If this baby is square-shaped I shall not be surprised.

7. Really, can you believe that woman at Walmart? PEOPLE.